My life autobiopronography.

[Mehrunes]

I was but a wee speck in the realm of fire, white and black ash would sweep through the excessively illuminated, dried granules of soil on ground. My mother was made of molecules, tightly bonded together to create, what you people say, a rock. My father was a monarch of a family of demonic monkeys, due to the conditions we lived in, he could only create a child in the womb of the rock, before dying of sensual exhaustion. I killed my mother after I imploded from the "womb", blowing it into bits. The force of the implosion sent me reeling through space time, ending up in the mortal realm of earth. I was taken in by a pack of monkeys, with my intellect, I became their leader. But life was so boring there, so I made my way, out to the open world, in search of true awesome, and the reason behind my strange birth. My first obstacle was the body of water surrounding the island, so I forced the pack of monkeys to bring me wood. They all died from exhaustion after constructing the ship for me. As I made my voyage, my ship was destroyed by a freak storm, throwing me into the bottom of the sea. But my luck was great, I ended up smack in the middle of an ocean city, owned by a mentally retarded sea dragon and I was too awesome to drown. As I gathered information about the sea dragon, I came to know how the mentally retarded sea dragon owned a rod which could extend, and shrink at will, but problem was it was attached to his crotch. I disguised myself as his concubines, and easily got close to him, ending up in a senseless orgy, which ended with me cutting the pole off him. With that, I beat the crap outta him, and stole his armor, tailored by even more mentally retarded animals. I used the pole I have gained to extend it, throwing myself to the surface, but the momentum was too strong and I was thrown to a far away place, to a range of mountains. As I tried to gather my senses, a traveling monk came by, I tried to beat the crap out of him with my pole for no apparent reason, and ended up being sealed under a mountain. And I was stuck till present time, a piece of granite used for a toilet, where a man tried to hump the hell outta me. In my outburst of anger in response, I broke out of my stony prison, breaking the man to pieces. Then I used his dismembered corpse to construct a computer, and used it to play League of legends and ace of spades, eventually meeting my true lover, ReubenMcHawk.

[Tek2]

Nice erotic novel you got there Mehrunes.

[ReubenMcHawk]

I'm not exactly sure how to respond to this.

[IrishElf]

Cool story bro.

[Dany0]

[greace]

I gotta use that.
I am speechless of how awesome that is.

[ChaosTLW]

[HaloWarLord711]

[USABxBOOYO]

That just gets funnier everytime it loops.

[Fluttershy]

*sniff* That was the most beautiful story ever told.

[MrHaaaaaaxFF]

ahhh i love MythBusters.

[Derpylicious]

[Kanye]

NO PONIES PLEASE.

This is a beautiful story, heart-breaking, captivating, moving! It brought me to tears.

[kmaj]

Nice, but more fit to Sheogorath.

[USABxBOOYO]

Very true.