MoleMan's Zombie Mode Thread (or: How to survive)

[MoleMan]

A zombie mode server is not like a normal server. Blue plays the humans, while green plays the zombies.

Due to my recent aggravating experiences regarding zombies and other players, here's a few tips for surviving and becoming an undead nightmare on the green team.

When you spawn, you'll be holding a gun. STOP. STOP EVERYTHING. LOOK AT THE BOTTOM GODDAMN LEFT.

YOU SEE WHAT IT SAYS? ZOMBIES CAN'T USE GUNS.

"Oh shit," you think inwardly, quivering in your booties, "This is so unfair and I'm going to die!" Toughen up, you maggot-infested brain connoisseur you. You can still kill people with your shovel! The cold, dead grip of undeath has also granted you the boon of dramatically increased health!

With new confidence, you run straight into the hail of bullets known as the blue team, and are promptly put down. Again and again, with great frustration, you repeat the process, dying to the inferior, yellow-bellied humans and their BB guns.

So why do you keep running into them? Ignorance. If a bluesie is shooting at you, don't take that! You're a strong zombie that don't need no humanity! Jump off the closest cliff and stick to cover. But how do you leave cover? There's campers everywhere!

Simple.

The only way to go is up. Look at the ground, or in front of you, and smack that block with your shovel. UP you go, up high, disappearing in front of their eyes and screwing up their aim. >> Jump like a crazy black man wearing Air Jordans, and those bluesies won't hit you. << (Duck Dodgers damnit I cannot stress this enough.)

Jumping back into cover, get under them (I presume you jumped off a cliff or wall, right?) and jump up in front of their faces. Slam, wham, they're down! The brains are yours to eat for a delicious 20 health.

If that human is running from you, that's good, they are running in fear! If they are close enough, give chase, or if they have made good distance, go back into cover and GO FOR THE DELICIOUS BLUE BRAIN LUNCHBOX known as the intelligence. Once you've got it, however well guarded, jump up into a high cover and over the edge. No blue can move as fast vertically as you can. Take full advantage of this.

Should you make it back to your tent to feast on those delicious brains, you'll feel more like yourself than ever! Take this opportunity to assist your fellow zombies. Smack them with the spade if you suspect they're injured and close enough to you, type /b and check out the build options to make going around as a human more difficult (Zombies needn't worry about heights, remember?) as well as building bridges with walls on them to assist the passage of your fellow zombies. But be careful, with the abilities you gain, you also lose your phenomenal endurance, so beware opposing blues... you are the lone brain gunman.

Follow all these tips and I guarantee your zombie play will be filled with feasts and sprees.

EDIT: And for god's sake, you shamblers, don't dig any tunnels to the lunchbox. You're not some common serf zombie working for his food, you're up there super-jumping with Jesus Christ in the sky! Leave tunneling to the dirty peasant Bluesies.

[Bandage]

Ha, this was a good one. I've never been much into zombie mode since I quite much suck at it. This should give me more of the idea what I should do for now, kind of.

Stealth is the answer. Sounds marvellous, I've always loved stealthy tactics!

[MrHaaaaaaxFF]

+1
But it needs a Human section. Not everyone in the Human team is smart enough, y'know.

[MoleMan]

+1
But it needs a Human section. Not everyone in the Human team is smart enough, y'know.

My current experience with Zombie servers is anywhere between 2 humans to 1 zombie and 8 humans to 1 zombie. I'll leave the human guide to someone else.

[Bandage]

+1
But it needs a Human section. Not everyone in the Human team is smart enough, y'know.

My current experience with Zombie servers is anywhere between 2 humans to 1 zombie and 8 humans to 1 zombie. I'll leave the human guide to someone else.

We actually don't need any separate threads about a same subject you know. You could at least expand it further when the suggestions and such emerge.

[Mehrunes]

Humans only need to sprint in some maps to capture intel. Humans op, can't be caught in flatland.

[Galaxy]

Basic tips for humans:

1.) I thought this one would be pretty obvious, but I still see people who haven't realized what's going on yet. When you're standing on top of something (a bunker/building/tower/whatever) and a zombie is at the base of it digging, back the f­uck up and be ready to shoot. As soon as you hear the explosion of the zombie doing the super jump, look up in the air in the direction that the zombie was last coming from.

Like I said, I thought that one would be pretty freaking obvious, but I guess not.

2.) Stop using the freaking /b menu, idiots. Nine times out of ten, my dumbass team mates get killed because they've trapped themselves in a corner with a bunch of garbage that didn't need to be built in the first place. Most of the people that I've played with seem not to realize it, but flat ground is a human's best friend. When there are tons of obstacles in the way, it makes it far easier for zombies to catch up to humans who either get stuck in holes/bunkers or get surprised by zombies who do the super jump.

3.) While running backwards and firing at an approaching zombie, begin sprinting as soon as the zombie stops sprinting to try and hit you with their spade. Once again, I thought this one would be common sense but it seems like some people haven't picked up on it yet. Zombies have to let go of sprint in order to swing their spade at you (which is good, since the zombies are already overpowered), which gives you a very small (yet advantageous) period of time in which you can hit the sprint button to gain some distance between you and them. Then, once you've gotten back like 2-3 steps (and while they're most likely still swinging their spade trying to hit you), start spraying them.

Out of those three, I'd say the most important one is to stop building stuff and to stop using the /b menu. Confined spaces are the easiest way to get killed by a zombie. Flat, open ground is your best friend.

[PXYC]

Jump like a crazy black man wearing Air Jordans,

Lolol

[MoleMan]

Bump.

[FaZe]

You know what my favourite part is?

"Deuce started a votekick against player: [DELTA]FaZe Reason: HEALTH HACK I SHOT YOU WITH A WHOLE CLIP"

[fds]

How to not suck in zombie mode:

1. Press ,
2. Press 1

Seriously, zombies are incredibly underpowered. All they have going for them is the health and jumping abilities. They don't even move faster than the humans. The only reason they are not completely useless is because everyone on the human team is a moron.

[MoleMan]

How to not suck in zombie mode:

1. Press ,
2. Press 1

Seriously, zombies are incredibly underpowered. All they have going for them is the health and jumping abilities. They don't even move faster than the humans. The only reason they are not completely useless is because everyone on the human team is a moron.

Play against me, I dare you. I'll cave in your head three ways with just my shovel. You significantly underestimate zombies because most zombies don't know how to play (i.e. they rush straight at you or use guns).

[LinktersHD]

This is such a funny well written guide. Thanks for it.

[mrsnail]

Yea, I tried it once, and I sucked horribly. However, I didn't know you can jump higher! Thanks!

[MoleMan]

Bump because it's still relevant.