Note: This forum is merely an archive. It is no longer possible to register or post. - StackOverflow
New Ace of Spades Forums: http://buildandshoot.com/

Goodbye.

Introdeuce yourself, or say a sad goodbye.

Goodbye.

Postby Stiivais » Wed Jun 27, 2012 2:20 pm

Today the video card on my pc died. I had previously fixed it by reflow soldering, but now it is gone.
When i told this to my father, his response was "Good."
He actually views it as an improvement, since he opposes gaming, hoping that i will spend more time outside.
I am going to give up at trying to be a gamer. Wont even have tried some of the games i longed for - Mass Effect 2/3, Far Cry 3, Gta 5, Battlefield 3, Skyrim.


[tl;dr]
For me, it was the only way to gain some pleasure in this life, in which there are a too many cruel and corrupt people (those who laugh about others and only want sex, for example). I know that many might disagree with me, but there is not a better feeling than that of exploring the vast plains of Tamriel or Vvardenfell and stumbling upon a cave in the middle of a forest, or even a long forgotten village which holds a dark secret. Exploring dwarven ruins to find an ancient set of armor or climbing a mountain to get to Blades Fortress. Or playing the bad guy for once and doing the bidding of the Dark Brotherhood, assasinating targets with unmatched precision. I wont ever forget the first time i did the initiation quest for the thieves guild, as i did it my way, by using my imagination and refusing to accept the boundaries the game placed on me. Games have grown immensely and it has been my pleasure to experience all of this. Only a person with imagination might have created the Dunmer province and the vast lands of Imperials. Only a person with imagination might have created the premise and unique way of storytelling that Fallout 3 had, letting you create your own story, not just merely explore the events, but to let you affect them. Build new ones even, by modding the game, and expanding on the original world, making it fulfilled, or creating total conversions with new challenges. The possibilities are almost endless and Elder Scrolls and games like Minecraft are prime examples of what humans can do if they work together for a greater goal, because noone pays them for creating these beautifully crafted stories- they do it for the sake of art. Yes, games are a great form of art, as valid as any other out there and they will always be such in my eyes. But they are also about doing things you will never be able to do in real life, like things you might have tried to do in Just Cause and Gta, where the world is your playground. There are countless hours of fun to be had, but that is not why i played them. There is a certain beauty in seeing the simulated city in Gta coming to life, pedestrians walking around and doing their everyday chores on the streets or in shops. Or even gazelles running around the plains in Far Cry and avoiding contact with humans as the sun calmly goes down and wind blows around the leaves and light gets dimmer by the minute, transforming the plains and rainforests into an alien world. Venturing these lands actually can bring a tear to the eye. Or a gasp for air, when you first see the immense scale of Citadel as Joker is about to dock Normandie, or the epic feeling that takes over you as humans struggle for survival as Reaper fleet spreads destruction and the rush of adrenaline, when you finally encounter the one behind all of this, Saren, the same person who laid waste to Eden Prime and controlled armies of Geth. From the icy mountains of Noveria to outer reaches of space, there was never a greater challenge for Shepard, but he never backed down and was always supported by his team. If this is not a story about prevailing against all odds, then i dont know what is. And yet it is so atmospheric, even listening to Tali Zorah nar Raya who inspects the engine of Normandie makes me feel a better person, as if there are still good stories to be told. But there is nothing wrong with fighing forces of Takistani military with your friends in Arma2, coordinating your strategies in a matter of seconds and adapting to the conditions of this dynamic, ever changing battlefield, and yet nothing on this world beats the feeling, when, after many hours you emerge victorious from the dust, ashes and rubble, left by the destroyed buildings and tanks. And these are just some examples of what games gave me...
[/tl;dr]

But guess that this is the end of all this... All those years, gone...
In a blink of the eye...

Not much to do elsewhere either, as i have next to no friends, never go to parties, no girlfriend (not even trying to get one, that would be useless) and am generally repulsed by the idea of socializing with others.
Guess that i will just spend the summer reading, because maybe games were not the only way to experience these sensations.

Goodbye,
Stiivais.

But before i go into the great wilderness you call outdoors, a quote.
"I have no life, because i am a gamer. But it is only so, because i chose to have many."
Last edited by Stiivais on Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:58 am, edited 7 times in total.
Image
Also: shutting up because i have caused some annoyances lately.
User avatar
Stiivais
Member
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 12:15 pm

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Talent » Wed Jun 27, 2012 2:29 pm

no one can contest the amount of sorrow contained in this Farewell :[


(I hope things get better for you)
User avatar
Talent
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 187
Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:54 pm

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Fleischgeruch » Wed Jun 27, 2012 2:37 pm

Oh god... the horror... You poor soul :'(. I can't bear to imagine the horrid things that would go through my head if I was put through the same ordeal as you (actually I have almost exactly the same situation as you, only my video card is very much alive).
I wish you all the best and I hope noone else in the world has to suffer such unspeakable doom. (not trolling btw)
But you know what they say, there's a silver lining thingie in every dark cloud... or something... basically it means when you're in deep sh*t, things will get better :D
Attention - User no longer active.
Image
Supprising. Funny. Intidimating.
<+Enari> well, i've slept with 29 yearold that looks yunger
User avatar
Fleischgeruch
Member
 
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:49 pm
Location: In der Luft.

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Priok » Wed Jun 27, 2012 4:18 pm

bummer, but why not see things as an improvement too? spending time outside with friends is really a lot more fun than sitting at home. I was sort of in a similar position at one time too, I had a very small amount of friends, but you just need to participate in something with them, and ask if you want to do stuff together. The only thing stopping you from this really is your mindset, you just have to be more positive and willing to get to know people. you're not going to just get to know them right away, you need to talk with them and spend time with them. maybe another thing you could do is draw, it would probably help you spend more time with people helping them with their projects, and it's also very fun.
viewtopic.php?f=71&t=3112 - my mods
Ace of Spades leader board rank: 1
User avatar
Priok
Member
 
Posts: 531
Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:59 pm

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Fleischgeruch » Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:22 pm

Hmm, quite an essay you wrote up there, Stiv ^. Totally agree with you, games are an immense form of art which is sadly underappreciated by people who believe themselves 'too mature' or 'too cool' to play any of them. It's just like saying 'Im too cool to appreciate music or paintings and only nerds like that stuff', which is absolute nonsense.
And unfortunately, without friends and relationships/partnerships, you won't get far in life :P. (At least that's what I'm constantly being told by relatives :<)
Attention - User no longer active.
Image
Supprising. Funny. Intidimating.
<+Enari> well, i've slept with 29 yearold that looks yunger
User avatar
Fleischgeruch
Member
 
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:49 pm
Location: In der Luft.

Re: Goodbye.

Postby TheSifodias » Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:02 pm

Fleischgeruch wrote:And unfortunately, without friends and relationships/partnerships, you won't get far in life :P. (At least that's what I'm constantly being told by relatives :<)


Its actually pretty true. My friends have saved my life once or twice.

Stiv, I completely agree with the fact that games are an art a literature, apiece of beauty. Adults, who grow past these "childish" things, will never fully understand how games like Minecraft and Skyrim have in fact, far more potential interest than even the Mona Lisa, the plays of Shakespeare, or the Giza Pyramids. To them gaming is an intrusion to art while in reality, it is another generation of art. It is an unappreciated generation that appeals to the living, not to the aging. These "adults" only look at the risks and adverse effects of gaming, and fail to understand that the very digital world is made out of the hard work and sweat of other people. Not for money, but for the mere joy of creating such beautiful landscapes, the Skyrim mountains, the Minecraft underground. As for the adverse effects, sculpting and abstract painting have their own backslashes to their creators. They don't see as we see, because they never knew what we are.

Also, with your writing skill, you might be able to send this to a gaming organization and make a difference.
A leader, a sniper, a creator...
an admin, and a loyal clan member of USAB.

Image
Image
Image
User avatar
TheSifodias
[USAB] Member
 
Posts: 1200
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:08 pm

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Stiivais » Thu Jun 28, 2012 11:55 am

TheSifodias wrote: Stiivais, I completely agree with the fact that games are an art a literature, apiece of beauty

And that is why i feel like a piece of me has been ripped off... >_<
TheSifodias wrote:Also, with your writing skill, you might be able to send this to a gaming organization and make a difference.

I don't think that any gaming organization would spend time reading this, as this is just the perspective of someone who plays these games. One of the main considerations, when making a game is about the audience, which will be attracted to the game and how well it will sell. This sometimes leads to this:
Image
Luckily this is not the situation with games like Elder Scrolls series and others which are inspirational and actually try to tell a story, but it is next to impossible to tell what will happen in 10 years with the industry.

You may send this "letter" to someone, but i am a bit too tired, trying to be heard would be like arguing with MW fanboys about the game being unrealistic, inferior to BF3/Arma2, which i have done once too often...
Image
Also: shutting up because i have caused some annoyances lately.
User avatar
Stiivais
Member
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 12:15 pm

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Nanners » Fri Jun 29, 2012 2:13 am

I guess this is farewell Stiivais, what does this make the Spade Courier :(? I could continue it if you gave me the newspaper template in your honour for starting it. From little things, big things grow and that is what the Spade Courier shall do! Farewell, try to come back every once in awhile, if you can :)!
* USAB ([email protected]) has joined #AoS
* Q sets mode: +v USAB
<+ReubenMcHawk> omg USAB you quit the BOOYO clan?
<+USAB> wat
* USAB is now known as USABxBOOYO
Nanners
[LDR] Member
 
Posts: 526
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:12 am

Re: Goodbye.

Postby CrisisFlarez » Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:04 am

I will buy you a new video card if you would like
Image
Image

Image
CrisisFlarez
Member
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:00 am
Location: In a fort eating cake

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Benton » Fri Jun 29, 2012 9:36 pm

Dude this actually made me sad. However, there is a silver lining to it all.

My advice is to meet new people and make new friends. Even one or two friends is all you need. And a girlfriend would be good too, someone you can spend some time alone with ;) Change your mindset. Sex is better then video games.

In all honesty, you can get a video card that can run Minecraft/AoS for $40 bucks. It's not much, but you can still play SOME games.

I get really annoyed when the older generation looks down on video games, calls the mindless etc. Yet most of them then spend their evenings sitting on a couch watching TV. They don't see the artwork put into it. I myself make art for video games, when I go to collage that is what I am going to major in, and I know that the people that do this for a living don't do it for the money. It's like painting. People that make money from selling paintings don't do it for the money. They do it because they enjoy it, the fact that it can make them money is just a bonus. Same with video games. The people that make them do it because they love making art, not because of all the money they make, and in actual fact is not a whole lot.

Anyway, I am sad to see you go man. But go out and buy a $40 video card, and at least come back and play this wonderful game. Or go out and meet some friends/girls. Do something you love.
Image
User avatar
Benton
Member
 
Posts: 272
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:33 pm

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Stiivais » Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:55 am

Nanners wrote:I guess this is farewell Stiivais, what does this make the Spade Courier :(? I could continue it if you gave me the newspaper template in your honour for starting it. From little things, big things grow and that is what the Spade Courier shall do! Farewell, try to come back every once in awhile, if you can :)!

It would make the newspaper dead, but it would be nice if you could take care of it.
Sadly i don't have the .xcf file anymore, but you could continue making it, maybe add a new style. It would be really nice.
And yes, i will occasionally visit forums, if possible.

CrisisFlarez wrote:I will buy you a new video card if you would like

No thank you, because i should only put money in things that will run games for years to come.
But as i don't see that happening anytime soon, i don't need a video card.

UPDATE:
Actually the video card is not completely dead as i initially had thought, it is in a sort of state where it is dying but not entirely dead yet. It occasionally gets artifacts on startup, but if i manage to get the pc running without these things appearing, then the video card will work fine, unless temperature gets around 100 C deg.
I took it apart, tried to fix it by reflow soldering and got lucky the first time. Now i applied new termal paste, added more fans and it appears to work now (a really big fan, half of the size of pc case, im not taking chances here :D). Not sure for how long will it stay this way, as cards fixed by reflow soldering break down completely in about a month.

But there is one thing i will try to do, get Skyrim - i waited for that game since Oblivion came out (i just knew that there will be another game in series). I am pirating as we speak, because i really don't have money to spare. I feel like trying at least once, as my curiosity has taken over once again.
Besides that, i am giving up gaming. Not that i will never play a game in my life anymore, but gaming will not be my main hobby anymore. And actually, you guys were right - there are things to do elsewhere. Went hunting with my father and have been drawing a lot more lately (will post pics, once done). Thank you guys for the positive feedback.
(i sort of expected that one polak to say "LOL NOOB, GTFO...")
Image
Also: shutting up because i have caused some annoyances lately.
User avatar
Stiivais
Member
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 12:15 pm

Re: Goodbye.

Postby CommanderCody » Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:04 pm

Goodbye, always liked your mods, it really sucks that you cant buy a new PC or something.
Try asking your mom. She might understand better.
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
| Join {AGAN} Today | IGN-AGANComandrCody | I Am a Combine |
User avatar
CommanderCody
{AGAN} Leader
 
Posts: 1211
Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2012 8:26 am
Location: Watching the Citizens of City-18

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Nanners » Wed Jul 04, 2012 9:05 am

Stiivais wrote:
Nanners wrote:I guess this is farewell Stiivais, what does this make the Spade Courier :(? I could continue it if you gave me the newspaper template in your honour for starting it. From little things, big things grow and that is what the Spade Courier shall do! Farewell, try to come back every once in awhile, if you can :)!

It would make the newspaper dead, but it would be nice if you could take care of it.
Sadly i don't have the .xcf file anymore, but you could continue making it, maybe add a new style. It would be really nice.
And yes, i will occasionally visit forums, if possible.

Yep, I'll see if I can make any backgrounds/styles for it, I'll get straight to work... Tomorrow! :D!
* USAB ([email protected]) has joined #AoS
* Q sets mode: +v USAB
<+ReubenMcHawk> omg USAB you quit the BOOYO clan?
<+USAB> wat
* USAB is now known as USABxBOOYO
Nanners
[LDR] Member
 
Posts: 526
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:12 am

Re: Goodbye.

Postby danhezee » Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:45 pm

Come hang out on mumble, you dont need no stinking graphics card for that
Image
User avatar
danhezee
Site Admin
 
Posts: 315
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 5:53 pm

Re: Goodbye.

Postby Venator » Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:48 pm

You dont need to pirate skyrim k?
I can borrow you mah steamaccountz k?
User avatar
Venator
[SPQR] Member
 
Posts: 729
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:56 pm
Location: the free candy van

Next

Return to Introductions/Farewells



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests

cron